Eats, Shites & Leaves

A. Parody

1-84317-098-1 • £9.99 • HB • 198x129mm • 168pp • Published: 1 September 2023 • Rights available: World All Languages

Why use one word when you can use fifteen? From tautology to malapropisms, tortuous legalese to plain bad English, Eats, Shites & Leaves uses rambling statements from rambling statesmen and total nonsense spouted by top celebrities to show how the English language in the twenty-first century can be just as unintelligible as the whooping and grunting of a neolithic caveman.

‘I think that [the film] Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.’ Alicia Silverstone, quoted in the Sunday Telegraph

Antal Parody is the bestselling author of Shite’s Unoriginal Miscellany (2003).

The Timewaster Letters

Robin Cooper

1-84317-108-2 • £9.99 • PB • 216 x 135mm • 192pp • Published: 20 September 2023 • Rights available: UK and Commonwealth inc. Canada • Other rights: PFD

‘I thought it was highly original, more original than Teenwolf and Teenwolf Too.’
Avid Merrion, Bo’ Selecta

The hilariously surreal correspondence of Robin Cooper, scarecrow designer, colour maker and racing-pigeon enthusiast, is in the bestselling tradition of the Henry Root letters - but with an entirely fresh perspective. For several years the author has been plaguing department stores, collectors’ groups, associations and a certain children’s book publisher with his letters. From the Campaign for Courtesy to the British Halibut Association - no one is safe. So who is Robin Cooper? Spoon collector, wasp expert, professional fish fryer and inventor of the peanut suit, Robin Cooper is all of these things - it just depends to whom he’s writing . . .

Robin Cooper is the pseudonym of Robert Popper, the BAFTA- and British Comedy Award-nominated writer and producer of the BBC2 show Look Around You. Robert’s ‘Letters From a Complete Timewaster’ have been published each month in Jack magazine since March 2002



School Rules

Tim Collins

1-84317-100-7 • PB • £4.99 • 144x111mm • 128pp

PUB DATE 12.5.05

When we start school we're told the rules: no running in the corridors, no chewing gum in class, and always raise your hand before answering a question.The rules we really follow are very different: never tell anyone it's your birthday, in case the big kids flush your head down the toilet; always draw willies, tits, and Hitler moustaches on your textbooks and never, under any circumstances, get caught reading a book instead of playing British Bulldog at lunchtime.


Speak Well English

Tomas Santos

1-84317-088-4 • £5.99 • PB • 144x111mm • 160pp • Published: 1 September 2023 • Rights available: World All Languages

‘At what clock must I evacuate myself?’

The essential phrasebook for all would-be English speakers - a blisteringly hilarious celebration of incomprehension, misunderstanding and mistranslation.

With entries covering travel, health, shopping, music, art, among a host of wide-ranging themes, Speak Well English includes a multitude of fascinating, yet useless, phrases compiled by a well-meaning novice of the English language.

‘I have suffering of my hip’s juncture.’

Despite being cursed with a profound ignorance of his subject, Tomas Santos is also blessed with a gift for the inspired guess and is always passionate in his efforts to help fellow foreigners. The final words should go to the great man himself: ‘Cheerio to your good health, and up your bottoms!’



The Jordan Joke Book

A. C. Parfitt

1-84317-120-1 • £4.99 • PB • 178 x 111mm • 128pp • Published: 22 September 2023 • Rights available: World All Languages

Hundreds of brilliant jokes about Britain’s favourite dumb blonde from the author of the bestselling David Beckham Joke Book.

She’s the glamour model whose fame reached new heights on TV’s jungle-survival game show I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! and who then became a bestselling author with her autobiography Being Jordan. Suddenly Jordan was on everyone’s lips . . . and the jokes started flying thick and fast.

Jordan goes to the dry-cleaner’s with her favourite leopardskin body suit.
‘There’s a bit of a stain on it,’ she tells the guy behind the counter.
Unfortunately the shopkeeper is slightly deaf. ‘Come again?’ he says. ‘No,’ replies Jordan. ‘Just tomato ketchup this time.’

Jordan and Peter Andre are getting hot and steamy in the bedroom.
‘Shouldn’t you be taking some precautions?’ asks Jordan.
‘I am,’ says Peter. ‘I’ve strapped a plank to my arse so I don’t fall in.’

Guaranteed to raise a titter every time!




Thomas’s Joke Book

Sarah Kennedy

1-84317-117-1 • £5.99 • PB • 198 x 129mm • 160pp • Published: 4 October 2023 • Rights available: World All Languages

Five million Dawn Patrol listeners heard Sarah Kennedy appeal for jokes and stories - this is their response!

When little Thomas, aged three and a half, heard ‘his’ joke being read out by Sarah Kennedy on her breakfast show, he was outraged: ‘Mummy, Sarah’s stolen my joke!’ When Sarah heard about this, she offered to make amends, asking her listeners to send in their own jokes and stories so that she could collect them for Thomas. And they did - in their thousands. Thomas’s Joke Book is the result - hundreds of funny, silly, naughty and charming jokes and true stories about children, in the bestselling tradition of The Terrible Twos.

A 5% royalty on every copy sold will be donated to the NSPCC.

TV presenter and radio broadcaster Sarah Kennedy has her own weekday breakfast show on BBC Radio 2 from 6.00 to 7.30 a.m. Sarah has written the bestselling books The Terrible Twos, Terrible Pets and Cats, as well as a novel, Charlotte’s Friends.




Blagging It

Paul Nero and James Moore

1-84317-104-X • £5.99 • PB • 198 x 129mm • 144pp • Published: 4 October 2023 • Rights available: UK and Commonwealth inc. Canada • Other rights: Robert Smith Literary Agency

Hundreds of excellent tips on how to get something for nothing!

Blagging It is a hilarious guide that proves the best things in life can be had for free - or nearly free. From shopping to sex, this scrounger’s bible is packed with tips for the cheapskate in us all. Blagging It explains how to: hold your wedding on the cheap; cadge a free pint; profit from your baby; haggle in a department store; and blag your way into executive parties. Packed full of diamond scams, it’s the perfect guide for the schemer in us all.

Blagging It . . . because there is such a thing as a free lunch.

Paul Nero is the founding director of a copywriting agency. He is a Yorkshireman and, therefore, by definition, a miser. James Moore is a journalist who has blagged his way across a thousand doorsteps in his time.




Shite's Unoriginal Miscellany

A. Parody

1-84317-064-7 • £9.99 • hb • 198x129mm • 162pp • 2003

Extensively researched, bizarrely ordered and irresponsibly written, this handbook of priceless, fascinating information combines humour and knowledge in a recipe for instant laughter.

Over 100,000 copies sold!



Rock and Pop Elevens

Simon Trewin, Tom Bromley and Michael Moran

1-84317-112-0 • £9.99 • PB • 231x153mm • 192pp • Published: 25 October 2022 • Rights available: UK and Commonwealth inc. Canada • Other rights: PFD

Remarkable, funny, fantastic and downright stupid facts and stories from the world of music.

In the seminal ‘rockumentary’ This Is Spinal Tap, the band’s amplifiers had volume controls that ‘went up to eleven’, because ten just wasn’t loud enough. Let’s face it, top tens are so last year - elevens are where it’s at. So Rock and Pop Elevens includes lists like the eleven biggest weight gains/losses from Boy George to Elvis; eleven albums the artists would like to forget; eleven lost weekends featuring hellraisers such as Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards; eleven urban myths we wish were true; eleven sex scandals we wish weren’t; and the best eleven singles that only reached number eleven in the charts.

The cool Christmas alternative to the Guinness World Records: British Hit
Singles and Albums

The authors (only three, not eleven) are Simon Trewin, a literary agent and columnist, Tom Bromley, a novelist and author of a book on one-hit wonders and Michael Moran, a journalist on Mojo and Q.




Power Mad!

Karl Shaw

1-84317-106-6 • £5.99 • PB • 198x129mm • 160pp • Published: 4 October 2023 • Rights available: World All Languages excluding Czech Republic

Astonishing authentic stories of world leaders who were power mad, money
mad - or just plain mad!

Power Mad! chronicles the outrageous plans and policies of the world’s most demented dictators, from Chairman Mao banning The Sound of Music as ‘a blatant example of capitalist pornography’ to ‘Papa Doc’ Duvalier rewriting the Lord’s Prayer for compulsory use in Haitian schools - ‘Our Doc, who art in the National Palace for life . . .’ Read about Paraguay’s hopeless three-front war, launched by a leader in the grip of a Napoleonic delusion, and the Equatorial Guinean leader who once initiated a Cabinet reshuffle by clubbing his Foreign Minister to death. Extremely funny, if at times utterly horrifying, Power Mad! proves that absolute power doesn’t just corrupt - it can drive you totally bonkers.

Includes barely believable stories about Idi Amin, Nicolae Ceausescu, Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Chairman Mao, Josef Stalin, and many more!

Karl Shaw is the author of a number of highly successful humour books including Royal Babylon, Gross! and The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Lists.




Born for the Job

James Steen and Dominic Midgley

1-84317-099-X • £5.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • Rights available: World All Languages

A Collection of Amusingly Apt Names

This book is based on the popular ‘Born for the Job’ feature
published in the Daily Mirror’s ‘Scurra’ column, to which readers
send in examples of those people who have, either by design or
accident, ended up in jobs that ideally suit their names. There’s a
plumber called Dave Tapp, Mr Bone the butcher and a GP with
whom you might not want an appointment - Doctor Coffin . . .




Laughable Latin

Lesley O’Mara and Rose Williams

1-84317-097-3 • £4.99 • PB • 198 x 129mm • 128pp • Rights available: World excluding USA and Finland

Witty Latin Phrases For All Occasions

A humorous guide to conversing in Latin with over 450 laughable
phrases to choose from including: Veni, vidi, voravi - I came, I saw,
I ate it all; Veni, vidi, verti - I came, I saw, I fled; and Esne
ebrius iterum?
- Are you drunk again?



The World’s Stupidest Headlines

Lois Kent

ISBN 1-84317-105-8 • £4.99 • PB • 178 x 111mm • 128pp • 2004




We all know that newspaper editors have to work against the clock to meet their deadlines and get their papers on to the presses, but sometimes they might be advised to pause and re-read that headline just one more time. On the other hand, that could mean denying readers the joy of stumbling across howlers such as ‘Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft’ or ‘Man Is Fatally Murdered’. Brilliantly funny, The World’s Stupidest Headlines features over 300 examples of the most ludicrous headlines ever printed.




The World’s Stupidest Last Words

Chris Maynard and Rhian Mckay

1-84317-021-3 • £4.99 • PB • 178 x 111mm • 128pp • Rights available: World excluding Japan

People say the stupidest things, especially, it would seem, when they’ve no time to make up for it by saying something sensible. This collection features scores of last gasps including, ‘Either this wallpaper goes or I do’ (Oscar Wilde), ‘Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel’ (George Appel, sitting in the electric chair), and ‘Die, my dear doctor? That’s the last thing I shall do’ (Lord Palmerston).




The World’s Stupidest Instructions

Bryony Evens

1-84317-078-7 • £4.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • Rights available: World All Languages

Whether they transpired as the result of inaccurate translation or sheer stupidity, this collection of real product instructions will leave you amused, bemused and baffled. On a tub of ice cream - ‘Caution: ice cream is cold.’ On a bathroom heater - ‘This product is not to be used in bathrooms.’ On a bottle of rum - ‘Open bottle before drinking.’ On a microwave oven - ‘Do not use for drying pets.’



The World’s Stupidest Sporting Screw-Ups

Andrew John and Stephen Blake

1-84317-039-6 • £4.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • Rights available: World All Languages

Ever been chased by a stray dog during a marathon, or missed the start of a race due to an ill-advised toilet break? Maybe you’ve punched the referee during a boxing match or been knocked out of a rally by an anteater?
If you haven’t, here’s where to read about those who have!




The World’s Stupidest Inventions

Adam Hart-Davis

1-84317-036-1 • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp

An hilarious compilation of some of the most pointless and dangerously stupid inventions ever created. Not so much Eureka as Eurekaaargh!



The World’s Stupidest Laws

David Crombie

1-85479-549-X • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2003

A collection of ridiculous regulations, silly statutes and barmy by-laws from different cities, states and countries across our legally challenged globe.




The World’s Stupidest Signs

1-85479-555-4 • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2000

The world’s stupidest signs, gathered from offices, hotels, shops, church notices, restaurants, safari parks, packaging… and they’re all real!



More of World’s Stupidest Signs

1-84317-032-9 • £4.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2003

There were too many silly instructions, bizarre translations, ludicrous announcements and ridiculous memos for the first volume, so we had to bring out another!



The World’s Stupidest Chat-Up Lines

1-84317-019-1 • £4.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2004

Packed with outrageous comments and classic opening lines, this book is a tribute to the most ridiculous and hilarious come-ons ever uttered. They may be stupid, they may be corny, they may be sleazy - but then again, they may just work...

‘Hey, all those curves and me with no brakes!’

‘Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?’



The Ultimate Insult

Compiled by Maria Leach

1-85479-288-1 • £5.99 • PB • 198x129mm • 248pp • 2002



Cricket - It’s A Funny Old Game

Comical comments from the world of cricket

Stephen Blake and Andrew John

1-84317-090-6 • £4.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2004



Football - It’s A Funny Old Game

Hilarious observations on the beautiful game

Stephen Blake and Andrew John

1-84317-091-4 • £4.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2 June 2004



All Men Are Bastards

Myra Venge

1-85479-387-X • £ 3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp



The Book of Urban Legends

Robin Reeve

1-85479-932-0 • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp



The Complete Book of Farting

Alec Bromcie

1-85479-440-X • £4.99 • PB • 144x111mm • 160pp



Sporting Slip-ups and Goalmouth Gaffes

Stephen Blake and Andrew John

1-85479-858-8 • £8.99 • HB • 198x129mm • 180pp



The Stupidest Things Ever Said

Ross and Kathryn Petras

1-85479-349-7 • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp



The Ultimate Book of Farting

Alec Bromcie

1-85479-596-1 • £5.99 • HB • 135x135mm • 96pp



Wicked Cockney Rhyming Slang

Betty Kirkpatrick

1-85479-386-1 • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp



Wicked Geordie English

Diana Briscoe

1-85479-342-X • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2003



Wicked Scouse English

Diana Briscoe

1-84317-006-X • £3.99 • PB • 178x111mm • 128pp • 2003



Youth is Wasted on the Young

1-84317-048-5 • £8.99 • HB • 198x129mm • 180pp • 2003